why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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