is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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