you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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