just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
