Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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