The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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