Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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