i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
