Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
