Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
