Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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