just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
