just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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