i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
