Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dick very happy bro
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
