so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
