I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can you bring me the toilet please
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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