Yo dont text me then not text me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
