help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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