week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
