Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.

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(720): View more from Colorado

As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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(512): View more from Texas

Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

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(806): View more from Texas

My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.

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(231): View more from Michigan

he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob

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