your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.