the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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