One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
