actually, I'm a sock model
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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