We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
