Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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