who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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