She said her name was "party"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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