I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
