Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
