I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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