it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
