the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh god the rape fog is back!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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