Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
