this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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