That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
