Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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