I'm laying in your front yard are you home
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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