The maid of honor just puked.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize