Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize