38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Randomize
