sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
