Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
