I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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