I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
