sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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