Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
