I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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