Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
