Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
