Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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