Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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