Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
