It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
