I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I had to cum in my sink.
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