Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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