And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
