Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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