and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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