In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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