RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
