shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
