sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
