if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
