I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
