Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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