so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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