he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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