Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Randomize
